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looked at three bowling balls, two worn-out pairs of bowling shoes, and two
empty bowling ball bags. "Could it be that these aliens still use projectile
weapons that fire cannonballs . . . master?"
"Don't be absurd," said Pierce impatiently. "Across interstellar distances?
They must have some other purpose that our rational, logical, Protean minds
cannot comprehend. What else do you see?"
"Look . . . master. Here's some sort of huge locker or closet."
"Use the tractor beam on your belt to open it. Don't waste power, though. You
may need every bit of it if you get into a pitched battle later."
"Yes . . . master," said Arro, doing as he was instructed. When the gasbag
forced the closet door open, he saw a gigantic, motionless creature.
"Is that one of them?" cried Pierce in alarm.
"I do not think it's alive . . . master. But they are so immense, I could
easily float into this one's body through any number of orifices. Do you wish
me to explore . . . master?"
What Arro had discovered was Frank Poole, who was not now nor had he ever been
a real human being. He was what is called in the trade an MIS, or Modular
Identity Synthecator. That is, he was an android, presently in storage. His
sole duty, when the human-Pierce came below and dug Frank Poole out and
switched him on, was to be Pierce's pal. He wasn't a very good android, and he
didn't make a very good pal, either, which was why he was in the closet
instead of in the control room with all the other helpless creatures.
Protean-Pierce studied the image in the monitor for several seconds, then let
a sac blat slowly.
If he gave permission to Arro to explore the MIS, Pierce would first have to
fill out in quadruplicate the Alien Life-Form Intrusion and/or Disassembly
papers, plus the Hazardous
Duty Requisition/Subordinate, Form 1026b/4, and then he'd have to wait for
orders from above which meant the properly filled-out papers had to wend their
way up the chain of command to the Grand High Potentate Master Commander
himself, and back down again to the agents of the advance party who were
taking the actual risks. Proteans could die while they waited for the red tape
to unspool. It was the one thing that Pierce hated about being a commodore.
"Hold on a few minutes, Arro," he told his first officer. "I have to clear it
with the higher-ups.
In the meantime, go on looking around the immediate area. See if there's
anything else of interest."
"Yes . . . master."
Page 43
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Pierce shuddered three separate sacs. He hated being called "master," and he
realized that
Arro was less efficient without his own mind. "Arro," said the pilot, "I'm
going to count backwards from 2,971. With each number, you're going to wake up
just a little bit more. When I
reach zero, you'll be entirely awake, in full possession of all your
faculties, completely refreshed and feeling wonderful, and filled with
enthusiasm for your perilous work aboard the alien spacecraft. Do you
understand, Arro?"
"You bet . . . master."
Pierce shuddered five sacs, and a sixth gave a brief bleating noise that was
wholly involuntary. "All right, then. 2,971. 2,970. 2,969. 2,968 "
"What?" cries Mr. Isaac Hodgkinson of Austin, Texas. "Are you going to make us
sit through the entire countdown?"
Well, speaking in my official capacity as the book, yes, I was going to run
quickly through
the entire countdown. That would have killed just under three thousand words,
almost a chapter in itself. However, if Mr. Hodgkinson is representative of
the mood of. the greater portion of my audience and I have it on good
authority that he is of particularly fine judgment I will dispense with the
remainder of the numbers. You probably know them, anyway.
In the control room of the Pete Rozelle, the lizard-Pierce gnawed
absentmindedly on the tip of dead Sean Mulvahill's tail. "You know," said the
general, "aboard our craft, we can override the computer and any controls that
seem to be malfunctioning. You say your name is Millard
Fillmore Pierce, and that you come from Earth. Surely your race is not so
stupid as to build spaceships that abdicate all control to a single computer."
"Well, actually " the human-Pierce began.
"Ya know," Marshmallow interrupted, "that battle fleet looks like you could
take a running start and spit on the flagship, they're gettin' so close."
"We're getting close," Pierce corrected her. "This little ship is charging
down on that vast armada."
"I don't want to tell you what to do on your own bridge," said the lizard,
"especially because since the shift change, I'm technically off-duty and you
should be getting orders from General
Rutherford B. Tyler, wherever he is, but I'd suggest you try to communicate
with those ships out there. You could explain to them that we're all prisoners
of love here, kidnapped by a runaway computer." He paused thoughtfully, then
added: "That unknown enemy might laugh itself to death."
"Computer," said Pierce in a commanding voice, "open hailing frequencies."
There was no response from XB-223. The hailing frequencies remained shut so [ Pobierz całość w formacie PDF ]
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